It is common for couples not to see eye to eye and have squabbles now and then. However, when the word “let’s get a divorce” is angrily spat out by either party, it could be merely out of anger or heat of the moment. So if you cherish your family and kids, and still love your partner no matter how angry or frustrated you are, then it is time to save your marriage to stop the downward spiral which may lead to an unwanted divorce and a broken family. This is the time when both of you need to go for a marriage counseling therapy.
Marriage counseling is the last thing couples want to go through though. But if it can save your marriage from breaking up, then it is well worth it. So how to look for a good marriage counselor? Let’s find out with this article.
I must emphasise that it is of utmost importance to find a marriage counselor whom both of you like and able to feel comfortable with. After you’ve called or interviewed the counselor, ask yourself these questions:-
i) Does the marriage counselor seem interested in you? Use your intuition to feel his/her level of empathy.
ii) Does he/her ask you and your partner questions to get enough significant information about your marriage?
A good marriage couselor will create an environment where both of you and the counselor can feel safe and comfortable to discuss any issues no matter how embarrassing these issues may be.
Then you will need to check on the experience and track record of your potential marriage counselor. Ask to see his or her training qualifications and success rate in helping couples to successfully to save their marriages.
Ask him/her to provide referrals who have succesfully saved their marriages and those who failed and call these referrals to ascertain the professionalism of your potential counselor. Do not be shy about this because if the counseling fails, you will be looking starkly at the prospect of an ugly divorce.
For this reason, find a counselor who has been in practise for several years and who counsels at least six or seven couples per week. It is vital to find a counselor who is truly a couple’s therapist and not merely a counselor trained to work with individuals who happens to see couples. This is because there is a risk that the therapist will treat individual unhappiness and not effectively address the couple’s specific issues.
This may be common sense, but in the fit of an emotional trauma and anger may be overlooked. Do find a counselor who is affordable and geographically convenient. Otherwise, either you or your spouse may come up with excuses like “we can’t afford it” or “it is to much of a hassle” to derail the progress you can make to save your marriage.
Now, make sure that your therapist believes in the institution of marriage. You may not know this, but some marriage counselors actually may tell you that divorce is the best option and helps you to facilitate divorce proceedings such as introducing you to divorce lawyers and then counsel you on the emotional traumas of a divorce. These are divorce counselors, not marriage couselors wherein he/she helps the couple to separate rather than stay together.
So if facilitating a divorce is not your goal and barring incidents like repeated illicit affairs, drug or alcohol abuse and or domestic violence etc, then it is certainly prudent to make sure that you see a marriage counselor who believes in the making the marriage intact.
If you or your spouse have a special problem, then go to a specialist in that field instead of a general practitioner marriage counselor. Such issues could be drug or alcohol abuse, sex addiction or domestic violence just to name a few examples. Thus the counselor that you choose must be skilled in addressing these issues.
Many counselors often choose a niche that they are passionate about and thus you can benefit from their additional knowledge and training in those specific niches.
So if you really want to save your marriage and believes that divorcing your spouse is the last option, then finding a good marriage counselor and going for marriage counseling may just save your marriage.
About the Author:
Chris Chew is a fitness, health and relationship consultant. Read his free articles at
Stop Divorce Save Marriage
and
Lose Weight After Pregnant
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – How Marriage Counseling Can Stop Divorce
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